Cast of Characters

Bad Mommy – That’s me. I’ll never win Mother of the Year and we all know it.

Cool Dad – Everyone loves Cool Dad. They see him all over the neighborhood with the Pirate in the Stroller and coo about how cool he is. I admit it, I can’t compete. But in my defense, I do cook and keep the house clean.

Little Pirate – The baby. She’s the Little Pirate because when she was born she would only open one eye at a time. I used to try to pry the other eye open when we were in the hospital because I was worried she was going to have a problem but that never worked. Cool Dad felt she might have inherited my Bell’s Palsy, but Bell’s Palsy doesn’t last that long, I had it in 2005, and it’s not genetic Cool Dad but thanks for reminding me that my face froze for a month.

The First Mate – The newer baby. Subject to whatever torture of the day the Pirate chooses to inflict.


One thought on “Cast of Characters

  1. Big change of subject matter but the same brilliant writing – I agree with every word. Don’t know how you managed to hold your tongue in the Daycare meeting. Must be a DC thing – parents here seem to appreciate that staff do a job from hell for no money. Don’t forget to add The First Mate to Cast of Characters.

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