Bad Mommy – That’s me. I’ll never win Mother of the Year and we all know it.
Cool Dad – Everyone loves Cool Dad. They see him all over the neighborhood with the Pirate in the Stroller and coo about how cool he is. I admit it, I can’t compete. But in my defense, I do cook and keep the house clean.
Little Pirate – The baby. She’s the Little Pirate because when she was born she would only open one eye at a time. I used to try to pry the other eye open when we were in the hospital because I was worried she was going to have a problem but that never worked. Cool Dad felt she might have inherited my Bell’s Palsy, but Bell’s Palsy doesn’t last that long, I had it in 2005, and it’s not genetic Cool Dad but thanks for reminding me that my face froze for a month.
The First Mate – The newer baby. Subject to whatever torture of the day the Pirate chooses to inflict.